Letters to My Love… (2)

You are the smile on my face, inspiration for my foot steps, and motivation behind my breath. No less, and a lot more! How many times do I want to tell you that I love you, but there are not enough words. And, the words commonly used are not dignified enough! O Love! O Love! O Love! You teach me how to live. You are an example of life itself. Actually, you are ‘the’ Life. Your eyes are full of dreams, even at dusk! Who knows it is a new beginning! Your lips have freshness of rose petals, and, your smile is like that of an infant!

You made my life what it should have been ideally.what it was, when you first met me, but a replica of hell.my eyes were as dark as starless nights, my lips were dry leaves, and smile that of a dying person. You made me live, you made me love, you made me the Love!

Letters to my Love… (1)

It is a midget like expression in comparison to what I feel for you, and, what you feel for me! Mere ‘I love you’ is not enough. I wish language had such a thing as expression in it, then I would have told you what you mean to me…

You are not a flower, whose life is a day or two; nor are you a moth, who dies for the love of light! You are light itself- one who can consume a million moths and still dazzle the Sam- patiently and peacefully.

You are not the universe, for universe is too tiny, you are not anything, nothing in particular but everything that one can be, and that which one cannot be. You are not ordinary, nor is my love for you. My love is not a mere spark, or a bonfire lit in controlled circumstances; my love is a fire that can consume forests , villages and cities alike, and still be unsatisfied. You are that first drop of rain which lands on this rage, and instantaneously calms it down.

For how many times do I want to tell you ‘I love you’; but, words are dwarf and you are a giant. From where should I bring such words as may define- no, definition is not all inclusive- from where should I bring such words as may express what you mean to me. I wish, I could become like you and each and every thread of my being expressed ‘you’.

….Sahar Raman Deep

Author of ‘The UnSaid: Listen to the Silence “

The UnSaid: Listen to the Silence… a book by Sahar Raman Deep

Poetry comes from the highest happiness

or the deepest sorrow.

….A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

Embrace!

As puss comes out of a wound

My anxieties came out of me

Such was the effect of your embrace

O child of resonance !

As tears come out of dry eyes

As breath flows

In an attack of asthma

As a blister bursts on the skin

Of a child

An ah came out of my being

And I wondered

What was it

That just hug me

An angel or devil?

Or,

Plain innocence!

The UnSaid: Listen to the Silence

 

Dear friends, I am glad to announce that the ebook version of my first chapbook ‘The UnSaid’ is available on Amazon.com for preorder now. The paperback will be available on Nov. 7, 2018. I hope that you like the work.

Thanks.

Sahar Raman Deep.

 

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Meditation for Today (8/26)

Hi Soul Beings! Thanks for reading. Be sure to follow me on my blog SaharRamanDeep.com for more inspiration and fresh poetry, and connect me on Facebook at https://m.facebook.com/SaharRamanDeep/?ref=bookmarks

Innocence Lost

On the other side of the shore

Eyes await for the lonely child

Who Got lost among walls

Of mine and thine

Innocence is compromised

Sickness is invited

And tenderness wipes it’s nose with sleeve

When borders are built

On land

Or

on paper

…Sahar Raman Deep

We Are Friends

It’s been a while we are friends- me and my bipolar; our friendship has not been very long, perhaps a little more than a decade. People say they get used to their situation, but I haven’t. I still feel the highs, the anxiety associated with it, and the trauma that it brings. I miss my normal self. In my lows, I do realize I am depressed, and I want to be happy. I do not want to kill myself, I have never; but there have been times when I had to fight the thought of killing myself. (Thankfully, that phase is over now, hopefully forever.) And, thanks to- I don’t exactly know whom- my family and friends, doctors, or my own will to survive- things seem to be a little better. Though, still there are times when I feel panics, I want to thrash my head against the wall- not to hurt myself but to exit the situation, the pumping heart loud enough to make anyone insane (I still am sane though). But it is ok.. (Actually not so ok). I sit here and write this in the middle of night, unable to sleep, or think. The brain is so active, thoughts are racing and I can’t catch any. So I decided to capture them from their very flight. I write about my bipolar.

…Sahar Raman Deep

Top Best Selling Books: Get Here

Not the Answer to Your Prayers

I am not

The answer to

Your prayers.

I am a sand dune

On the shores of a sea

My existence is

A bubble of water

You are the water

You are the air

You shall

Swipe me away

In an instant

A million times

At the feet of times

I beg you

O Light

Let me be

One with you

Let me be you

That there are not two

And prayers are answered

By not an external

But by the oneness

That we are!

…Sahar Ramandeep

A Letter to My Love

Some people are more important than stardom or money; so are you. You are not only a person, but my relationship with myself. You are a song that my soul sings. You are the light in which my being seeks to understand Love. You are a you who has made love myself.

A thought: what if you are not real? You may not be real, but the love between us, at this moment in space and time, is more than real than any real can be. It is extraordinary! A moment lived in this living moment is more true than any number of years, centuries or lives lived in a common ‘love’ of give and take, of trust and doubt, of me and you.

Among us, there is no me and you. Among us, it’s a world of stars. Among us, there is unlimited expansion not to be limited by any binaries. Among us, there is only ‘us’; and ‘us’ is of oneness, of non duality, away from the world divided into dimensions.

Sahar Raman Deep.

5/21/17

Generations!

Good were the days
When grandma cooked
And all the children
Sat around her-….

Good were the days
When grandma cooked
And all the children
Sat around her-
Crossed legged, and silent.
The roti took time to bake,
And, we fought for it!
So granny set the turns,
And we would eat
Slowly from our bowls
With small bites of bread
So as not to be done
Before the next chapati came!
Finish we eating,
And off we went
To swim in poodles!

Good were the days
When mom cooked
And we sat on table
With father on the big chair
And ate rice,
And home cooked noodles-
Laughing at small jokes,
And went to bed
With affectionate kisses;
Read a book
And dreamt of morning!

Now my children,
With their heads buried in phones
Wait for food
Ordered online
To fill their bellies!

I sit alone
With my husband
Sipping some soup,
Silent and gloomy.
And I wonder,
When my daughter shall cook….

…… Sahar Raman Deep
1/14/17

Rain and Storm

Not in rain
Is there a purpose
Of wind to
Water the garden

The little droplets
Of Nature’s beautiful sprinkler
Mean to grow
Everything liveful.

But,
Only stones can stand
The blow of the blow
And sometimes even
Mountains fly in cyclone.

Everything pleasant
Even if the loving human
Or God’s religion
Or even the soft breeze,
When gets violent,
Trees uproot,
Stones break,
And,
Mountains sand!

…. Sahar Raman Deep
01/06/17

In Rawness of Emotions…

In rawness of emotions
In rawness of thought
In rawness of heart
When no seed is bown
I think of humanity
How it has grown!… Read More

In rawness of emotions
In rawness of thought
In rawness of heart
When no seed is sown
I think of humanity
How it has grown!

Humanity meant
Law of jungle in forest
And the only rule
Was to survive
Then came the tribes
And the societies
Where survival was safe
And the need was to thrive.
Being loyal to the group
And to the leader
Was the mandate
Even if it meant
Death to the tenant.

Some saints and sages
Have been talking since ages
Of the particular
And the universal
And saying
Both are one
And the key to this realization
Is freedom, and alas!
Freedom is none!

They say we are free.
Though unchained and unbound
We are bound by
None other than we.
This is the story
Of us humans
Separated from the nature
Who bore us
In her womb
And many others
Whom we have forgotten.

We wait for a the doom!

…. Sahar Raman Deep.
12/14/16

Great Quotes 2

SaharRamanDeep.com

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples.” Mother Teresa

Poem

Write me down
On a piece of paper
And place it securely
In your heart
So that… Read More

Write me down
On a piece of paper
And place it securely
In your heart
So that
Naver can I
Escape thee

Lock me in
The ink of fate
And seal it
With thy name

Put me under
The tip of your pen
That I may sing you
Forever, till eternity!

O royal prince
Content am I
With what you give me
For nothing lies
Beyond your eyes!

Pilgrimage

There is no pilgrimage holier than of self to Self. (Read more…)

On the way home
Back to my heart
Blisters are on feet
And mouth is desert

Back to my roots
After wandering in skies
Having lost all mine
I walk like a monk

Great pilgrimage is this
In the meadows
In the rain
To the alter of me
Standing still-

Since ages!

… Sahar Raman Deep.
11/14/16

The Depression

This wholeness and emptiness, alternating time and again, this feeling of having it all and the nothingness, this tendency…. Read more.

This wholeness and emptiness, alternating time and again, this feeling of having it all and the nothingness, this tendency to have found it all and then that terrible phase of having it all lost! A person swings from what she is to what she is not, often struggling to find a true identity. Here, in no way, I am talking of identity in relation to the Ultimate, but in a way relative to human existence, an identity we all have- I like this and I do not like this. We all know atleast this about ourselves! I do not. Any of the people struggling with my condition do not! And, it is called bipolar disorder.

At one time, I am a writer, an avid reader, an innovator. At another, I am a piece of shit! Sounds funny, right? It’s not.

Have you ever have had that feeling when you have failed and lost all confidence in you and what is yours? When you look into the mirror and you hate the person you are looking at? Find him ugly? Have you ever felt the world has gone against you, and you are hiding in a little hole, trying to protect yourself? Have you ever felt that you are terribly isolated and long for that human voice which may touch your heart and give you some comfort, all the while when your loved ones are around you?

This is it! This is it! The depression! The bipolar depression!

Us.. .

Not in the mind
Not in the brain
In the serenity of soul
I long for you… read more.

Not in the mind
Not in the brain
In the serenity of soul
I long for you

You, the eternal being
You, the soul of souls
You, the magnificent whole

You, who is born as me
You, who is born as he
You, who is born as us

Our relation is
That of the oneness
We are not three
We are one

We are one
That there is none
Who is not me
Who is not he
Who is not you

It is all us
It is everywhere us
And,
It’s no where us.

… Sahar RD (10/31/16)

Also read Legends .

Refugee Camps

Have you ever felt hopeless? Please participate in the discussion.

 

No,
Nothing new
To look forward to…
Is it called hopelessness?

Since long
They have lived with
All that was,
Having lost
Home, love and future
In hope of
Something better
For their children
Who now play
With broken dreams
In the refugee camps!

… Sahar Raman Deep
10/29/16

Also read The Legends .

Love Eternal!

 

Life can live
Only and only with you
O prince of winds
O beauty of heaven
O Love eternal!

You are the soul
The heart beats with
You are the essence
Blood flows with
You are the light
Eternity lives by

That moment of passion
Is long passed away
That thing of earth
Never was
It is the skies
Your love expands into

The oceans carry
Our love for life
The flowers blossom
Only to have our glimpse
And the waters ice
Only to reflect our hearts

No punctuation
No full stops
This is the flow
Of light unto life
Of soul unto spirit
Of matter unto divinity

… Sahar Raman Deep
10/28/16

Qisse- The Legends of Love 

What is your inspiration of love? What idea of love suits you the most- only the physical gratification or a soulful union too? You are invited to share your views.

 

Reading, knowing and being aware that a selfless, soulful, true love, in which the two lovers do not have a desire to possess, are not jealous, and find happiness in each other, is not only motivating and inspirational, but a solace to the starving heart as well. Also, it is always a pleasure to read about those who have achieved the zenith of love, who have met their soulmates and are living in perfect union with each other, in the way that yogis say, ‘you am I and I am thee’.

We, in the world of technology, too, have become technical, torn apart between the cravings of body and the needs of soul. Everyone is looking for that ‘one’, without wanting to be ‘the one’. This needs a lot of conviction, empathy, and shunning of materiality. With this in mind, I have decided to write this book, with not one, or two, rather three stories of eternal love. They are intermingled with each other in a way that one is the part of other.

The three stories I am talking about come from the land of undivided Punjab, half of which now lies in India and the other half in Pakistan, and are the mythic legends of Love- or Qisse. These are the stories of love found, and lost in the world, and attained to the fullest in world of spirits. These lovers go beyond what is physical, much beyond the idea of possession and long for union, not unity. A union is one in which the two merge together to form a new and higher than earlier identity; in unity the two remain separated. They are more like Khalil Gibran’s soul searching Love found in oneness of the life, and ‘the Life’. He writes, “Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love’.

This is what has given me the inspiration. What is your inspiration? How do you look at love? What is your idea of ideal love? I shall be delighted, and will appreciate if you would share your thought on the subject. It shall help me understand you better as I write for you. If you have other great ideas, please use the ‘Contact’ form.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ I shall soon be sharing the three stories as told in popular folklore! ???

… Sahar Raman Deep

 

 

CONTACT

 

 

 

Abortion

Is abortion a woman’s right over her body or a criminal act? What do you feel?

From nowhere
His gaze can observe
As she
In her uncomfortable nest
Watches over her little one

Like the moon
Like the stars
He can be seen
But not reached

His son
Who looks exactly like him
Seems to be asking
Where is my father?
And she has
No answer
What should she tell him?
That his coming to life
Was an accident
Which his father
So despised
And hated her
For carrying him?

Oh boy!
She loved him much
And could have done
Anything for him
And he was right
Nor he
Or she
Was ready, for the big change

How much
She suffered!
Without a family
Without her love.
And that tumor!
She could have died!

He had the freedom
So he left
She did not have
So she is struck
For life
In that brief moment of
Love long lost!

…. Sahar Raman Deep
10/27/16

Lost in the Wide

When Self is lost, everything is lost.

I am
Looking for a creature
Long lost
Who I used to call ‘me’.

No clue of
Where she’s gone
No clue
What corner of universe
She is in
She used to say
The whole world is mine,
Earth is my home
And heart is shrine.

Whose heart now
Should I peep into
Which particle on earth
I dig deep
No where is she
No where is she

Such people
Who do not
Have a self
Get lost easily
In the wide

They are
Laughed upon
Because they are different
They are thought, To be like
The crow who wore
A peacock feather
And not the peacocks
Nor the crows
Accepted him henceforth.

But she was different
She was not the one
To be lost in the mob
Nor was she a crow
Or a peacock
She was the essence
Of Love
And Love was she
Indeed!

Was that me?
Now I wonder
Lost in the
Hustle of life
Wandering in
Many separated streets
The idea of unity
Is an alien.
And Love?
There is none.
Union is Love
Not the unity
Which now I have
With myself
And, I don’t know who…

…. Sahar Raman Deep
10/19/16

Union in Love

Spiritual union of Love is an experience of a lifetime!

O Love!

I don’t want to

Cling to You…

I just want to

Hold the experience

Of oneness and expansion

Close to my heart

Ever and forever.

…. Sahar Raman Deep

 

A Small Example of Living with Bipolar

In bipolar, mood swings are so drastic that you yourself forget who you really are!

What am I looking for, always searching? There is this discontentment inside. Could it be that I am looking for my lost life? Or my Love? Or the baby I once had?

I think it is the baby.

Long ago, I searched for my love like this. I felt alone without him. I was alone. I had no relationship. There were people who were related to me, but no ties attached. And, I am alone now.

Is it just a state of mind? Or just a habit? That once we are sad, we are sad forever? But, I was not always sad. I was the queen of universe, and everyone was a part of me. I was so expanded that the horizons looked small. My soul was so bright with happiness, that sun seemed to be dim. And had such depth in my eyes that the oceans could not measure it. At that time, I had only one relationship- that with myself. I was alone, but I was happy. Deep within I longed for that ‘perfect’ man, but I was always with me. And none other’s company mattered.

And now, there are times when I am on the seventh heaven, just for nothing, no strings attached to the earth! No grounding, just hollowness. And I am flying, like a dry leaf broken from branch. And I look for myself in that hollowness, and for all those who I think are me. And, when I cannot find anyone, I get anxious. I start looking for them impatiently… and this is the time when dopamine in brain is supposedly at its maximum before starting to drop down. And when it drops down, and comes to its lowest point, I am as dead as I am now! Like my dead daughter, whom I never saw!

And, this is only a small part of bipolar!

…Sahar Raman Deep
10/19/16

Catharsis

I wanted to live the moment,
You wanted to die with past!
Not a surprise,
Our relation did not last.

I could never be
A part of your catharsis,
This is the reason
Why you left me.
I wanted you to smile with me,
You had lived enough in the past. Now I wanted you to come
Live in the present
And enjoy the moment.
But, perhaps,
You were not
Ready for that.
My fault, I did not want
You to laugh and look
Like as if you were crying.
I wanted you to laugh
And smile from heart.
I did not want your brain
To be always preoccupied
And you to look
Stone eyed.
I wanted your eyes
To rejuvenate,
Be full of life,
Giving life.
But you refused
To be apart of my life,
The very same way
I refused to be
A part of your catharsis.

… Sahar Raman Deep
10/16/16

Lust and Philo-sophy by Isham Cook

Book Review: Lust and Philosophy by Isham Cook

Lust and Philosophy by Isham Cook is a hypnotic saga of a man’s desperate desire to be with a particular woman, even though she is not the first one in his life. This ‘being with’ is in no way spiritual or platonic. It’s a physical attraction to three ‘B’s- beauty, bust and buttocks’, to the extent that it even becomes an obsession. This is described by the narrator’s likeness of his state of mind to that of the situation in Shakespeare’s ‘King Lear’. It is as violent and mutilating as Lavinia’s rape and cutting of her tongue thereafter, or mother getting ready to eat flesh off her dead sons’ bodies. it is also cross cultural, as the story is set in China with an American protagonist in search of his Chinese love interest. And, there is not one love interest!

As is evident, there is a lot of reference to tradition, including religious, and a lot of questioning. Things are seen in a different light. Everything physical has a reference into the past, and ultimately, they merge into philosophy. The images of Madonna and the child, the description of the Anunciation, all are a representation of sexuality, and the argument is impressive. In fact, Simone Martini’s ‘Annunciation’ (1333) is even said to be hinting at Mary’s rape! (She is no where Mother Mary, or the ghost is the ‘Holy Ghost’.) There are references to other great philosophical works to, including Louis Althusser’s ‘Lenin and Philosophy’ and Jean Baudrillard.

Style wise, this book is rich with detail, drama and a lucid description. Juxtapositions, contradictions and satire is common. There are surprises.  On the other hand, it is also a psychological adventure. It is a good read for those who seek to have deeper understanding of the relationship a man’s mind has with women and their bodies, which the narrator measures on the scale of nine and ten; ten being the perfect.

… Sahar Raman Deep (10/15/16)

Nectar of Love

Nectar of Love is, Love itself!

This sun
And the rain!
When they get together
Creation happens

These bees
And the flowers!
When they mate
Honey comes to existence

This self
And the Ultimate
Make you and me
This is the only
Nectar of Love
You am I
I am thee.

… Sahar Raman Deep (10/14/16)

The Deadly Truth

I loved him
As he was
And
He loved me
As he wanted!

I know
The deadly truth
You
No more
Belong to me.

The fact is,
That you were never mine.
I have not lost you
In fact, I have found you
In your absence

When you were there,
I would fight with you
Shout at you
Humiliate you
Now
At least I realize
That I love you.

You always wanted
That I agree with you
Follow your steps
Say yes to everything you said
So that
You may love me.
I always sensed
That stiffness in your character
That never bends
But can break.
I did not want to break.
I chose my integrity.

Should I have chosen you
And lose myself
With time
And become incapable
Of loving
Anyone in the world?
Even my own kids?
And become guilty
In my own eyes,
And theirs.
How could I teach them
Self respect
When I had none?

I know,
Our ways have separated
Still, we walk
Hand in hand
In each other’s heart
I know you love me
And you know
That I love you,
Doesn’t matter
You think otherwise.

…Sahar Raman Deep

10/13/16

Princess Diana (2) The Rising Star

She loved Diana, and. She wanted to be Diana- the princess. She was a rising star, with faded lights.

“Why do you always look towards the sky?” Her mom asked her one day.

“Because I am going to shine like moon someday” she said with a sparkle in her eyes, a dream in her voice, and uncertainty in her heart.

“Become moon or star, but only after death.” Her mother said with sarcasm. “Better concentrate on picking rags now. Only they will get us a good meal at night.”

Roshni looked at her with eyes as if a dream had shattered in them, but she recollected herself. “You see ma, I am going to shine one day.”

This time her voice wasn’t as bright.

…to be continued.

 

Sahar Raman Deep

Princess Diana (1)

She was Diana, and she was a princess extraordinary!

Heart was her kingdom, and Love was the throne. Respect was her seal, and affection was the crown. Compassion was her supremacy and sympathy the rule.

Her world was a fairy tale!

She lived in a slum, loved and cared for. She was the oldest of six, and never went to school. She picked up rags in the day, and sat her baby brother at night. At dawn, she woke up earlier than everyone else. She walked on the bare streets, empty handed; all alone. She looked at the fading stars, the lighter moon and the rising sun. She loved light; light was her name- ‘Roshni’.

To be continued….

10/8/16

A Matter of Faith

A popular story goes like this….

Once there was a drought and people of the city decided to gather at the local temple and pray for rain. Almost everyone from the town came, but only one child came with an umbrella!

Such is the faith! Do we have it?

Often we resolve to think positive. For example, I will win the lottery today. Yet, when we go to the store, we buy the cheapest ticket, so as to not ‘lose’ a lot of money. We are again not thinking of gaining. And, as the luck eventually proves that it was on our side, we repent, we should have invested more, may be a bigger prize would have been ours!

We don’t even believe in ourselves. We do not need any proof of being us. How can we even think of having faith in God whose existence we are not even sure of?

What are your views about this? Please share.

…… Sahar RD

12/17/2015

 

Also read  Qisse- The Legends of Love  .