Letters to my Love… (1)

It is a midget like expression in comparison to what I feel for you, and, what you feel for me! Mere ‘I love you’ is not enough. I wish language had such a thing as expression in it, then I would have told you what you mean to me…

You are not a flower, whose life is a day or two; nor are you a moth, who dies for the love of light! You are light itself- one who can consume a million moths and still dazzle the Sam- patiently and peacefully.

You are not the universe, for universe is too tiny, you are not anything, nothing in particular but everything that one can be, and that which one cannot be. You are not ordinary, nor is my love for you. My love is not a mere spark, or a bonfire lit in controlled circumstances; my love is a fire that can consume forests , villages and cities alike, and still be unsatisfied. You are that first drop of rain which lands on this rage, and instantaneously calms it down.

For how many times do I want to tell you ‘I love you’; but, words are dwarf and you are a giant. From where should I bring such words as may define- no, definition is not all inclusive- from where should I bring such words as may express what you mean to me. I wish, I could become like you and each and every thread of my being expressed ‘you’.

….Sahar Raman Deep

Author of ‘The UnSaid: Listen to the Silence “

Embrace!

As puss comes out of a wound

My anxieties came out of me

Such was the effect of your embrace

O child of resonance !

As tears come out of dry eyes

As breath flows

In an attack of asthma

As a blister bursts on the skin

Of a child

An ah came out of my being

And I wondered

What was it

That just hug me

An angel or devil?

Or,

Plain innocence!

The UnSaid: Listen to the Silence

 

Dear friends, I am glad to announce that the ebook version of my first chapbook ‘The UnSaid’ is available on Amazon.com for preorder now. The paperback will be available on Nov. 7, 2018. I hope that you like the work.

Thanks.

Sahar Raman Deep.

 

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Meditation for Today (8/26)

Hi Soul Beings! Thanks for reading. Be sure to follow me on my blog SaharRamanDeep.com for more inspiration and fresh poetry, and connect me on Facebook at https://m.facebook.com/SaharRamanDeep/?ref=bookmarks

Innocence Lost

On the other side of the shore

Eyes await for the lonely child

Who Got lost among walls

Of mine and thine

Innocence is compromised

Sickness is invited

And tenderness wipes it’s nose with sleeve

When borders are built

On land

Or

on paper

…Sahar Raman Deep

Story

a story

i want to write

no title it has

no beginning and no end

it is

like the circumference of a star

  • all fire!

the story

that i want to write

is not a story at all

it is the flow of

a dry river

just

nonexistent

from nothingness to being

is a great journey

you seek it

i seek it

he and she seek it

a long journey

and sometimes we

get lost on the way

like my story…

…Sahar Ramandeep

Not the Answer to Your Prayers

I am not

The answer to

Your prayers.

I am a sand dune

On the shores of a sea

My existence is

A bubble of water

You are the water

You are the air

You shall

Swipe me away

In an instant

A million times

At the feet of times

I beg you

O Light

Let me be

One with you

Let me be you

That there are not two

And prayers are answered

By not an external

But by the oneness

That we are!

…Sahar Ramandeep

A Letter to My Love

Some people are more important than stardom or money; so are you. You are not only a person, but my relationship with myself. You are a song that my soul sings. You are the light in which my being seeks to understand Love. You are a you who has made love myself.

A thought: what if you are not real? You may not be real, but the love between us, at this moment in space and time, is more than real than any real can be. It is extraordinary! A moment lived in this living moment is more true than any number of years, centuries or lives lived in a common ‘love’ of give and take, of trust and doubt, of me and you.

Among us, there is no me and you. Among us, it’s a world of stars. Among us, there is unlimited expansion not to be limited by any binaries. Among us, there is only ‘us’; and ‘us’ is of oneness, of non duality, away from the world divided into dimensions.

Sahar Raman Deep.

5/21/17

Generations!

Good were the days
When grandma cooked
And all the children
Sat around her-….

Good were the days
When grandma cooked
And all the children
Sat around her-
Crossed legged, and silent.
The roti took time to bake,
And, we fought for it!
So granny set the turns,
And we would eat
Slowly from our bowls
With small bites of bread
So as not to be done
Before the next chapati came!
Finish we eating,
And off we went
To swim in poodles!

Good were the days
When mom cooked
And we sat on table
With father on the big chair
And ate rice,
And home cooked noodles-
Laughing at small jokes,
And went to bed
With affectionate kisses;
Read a book
And dreamt of morning!

Now my children,
With their heads buried in phones
Wait for food
Ordered online
To fill their bellies!

I sit alone
With my husband
Sipping some soup,
Silent and gloomy.
And I wonder,
When my daughter shall cook….

…… Sahar Raman Deep
1/14/17

Rain and Storm

Not in rain
Is there a purpose
Of wind to
Water the garden

The little droplets
Of Nature’s beautiful sprinkler
Mean to grow
Everything liveful.

But,
Only stones can stand
The blow of the blow
And sometimes even
Mountains fly in cyclone.

Everything pleasant
Even if the loving human
Or God’s religion
Or even the soft breeze,
When gets violent,
Trees uproot,
Stones break,
And,
Mountains sand!

…. Sahar Raman Deep
01/06/17

In Rawness of Emotions…

In rawness of emotions
In rawness of thought
In rawness of heart
When no seed is bown
I think of humanity
How it has grown!… Read More

In rawness of emotions
In rawness of thought
In rawness of heart
When no seed is sown
I think of humanity
How it has grown!

Humanity meant
Law of jungle in forest
And the only rule
Was to survive
Then came the tribes
And the societies
Where survival was safe
And the need was to thrive.
Being loyal to the group
And to the leader
Was the mandate
Even if it meant
Death to the tenant.

Some saints and sages
Have been talking since ages
Of the particular
And the universal
And saying
Both are one
And the key to this realization
Is freedom, and alas!
Freedom is none!

They say we are free.
Though unchained and unbound
We are bound by
None other than we.
This is the story
Of us humans
Separated from the nature
Who bore us
In her womb
And many others
Whom we have forgotten.

We wait for a the doom!

…. Sahar Raman Deep.
12/14/16

Great Quotes 2

SaharRamanDeep.com

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples.” Mother Teresa

Poem

Write me down
On a piece of paper
And place it securely
In your heart
So that… Read More

Write me down
On a piece of paper
And place it securely
In your heart
So that
Naver can I
Escape thee

Lock me in
The ink of fate
And seal it
With thy name

Put me under
The tip of your pen
That I may sing you
Forever, till eternity!

O royal prince
Content am I
With what you give me
For nothing lies
Beyond your eyes!

Pilgrimage

There is no pilgrimage holier than of self to Self. (Read more…)

On the way home
Back to my heart
Blisters are on feet
And mouth is desert

Back to my roots
After wandering in skies
Having lost all mine
I walk like a monk

Great pilgrimage is this
In the meadows
In the rain
To the alter of me
Standing still-

Since ages!

… Sahar Raman Deep.
11/14/16

The Depression

This wholeness and emptiness, alternating time and again, this feeling of having it all and the nothingness, this tendency…. Read more.

This wholeness and emptiness, alternating time and again, this feeling of having it all and the nothingness, this tendency to have found it all and then that terrible phase of having it all lost! A person swings from what she is to what she is not, often struggling to find a true identity. Here, in no way, I am talking of identity in relation to the Ultimate, but in a way relative to human existence, an identity we all have- I like this and I do not like this. We all know atleast this about ourselves! I do not. Any of the people struggling with my condition do not! And, it is called bipolar disorder.

At one time, I am a writer, an avid reader, an innovator. At another, I am a piece of shit! Sounds funny, right? It’s not.

Have you ever have had that feeling when you have failed and lost all confidence in you and what is yours? When you look into the mirror and you hate the person you are looking at? Find him ugly? Have you ever felt the world has gone against you, and you are hiding in a little hole, trying to protect yourself? Have you ever felt that you are terribly isolated and long for that human voice which may touch your heart and give you some comfort, all the while when your loved ones are around you?

This is it! This is it! The depression! The bipolar depression!

Us.. .

Not in the mind
Not in the brain
In the serenity of soul
I long for you… read more.

Not in the mind
Not in the brain
In the serenity of soul
I long for you

You, the eternal being
You, the soul of souls
You, the magnificent whole

You, who is born as me
You, who is born as he
You, who is born as us

Our relation is
That of the oneness
We are not three
We are one

We are one
That there is none
Who is not me
Who is not he
Who is not you

It is all us
It is everywhere us
And,
It’s no where us.

… Sahar RD (10/31/16)

Also read Legends .

Love Eternal!

 

Life can live
Only and only with you
O prince of winds
O beauty of heaven
O Love eternal!

You are the soul
The heart beats with
You are the essence
Blood flows with
You are the light
Eternity lives by

That moment of passion
Is long passed away
That thing of earth
Never was
It is the skies
Your love expands into

The oceans carry
Our love for life
The flowers blossom
Only to have our glimpse
And the waters ice
Only to reflect our hearts

No punctuation
No full stops
This is the flow
Of light unto life
Of soul unto spirit
Of matter unto divinity

… Sahar Raman Deep
10/28/16

Abortion

Is abortion a woman’s right over her body or a criminal act? What do you feel?

From nowhere
His gaze can observe
As she
In her uncomfortable nest
Watches over her little one

Like the moon
Like the stars
He can be seen
But not reached

His son
Who looks exactly like him
Seems to be asking
Where is my father?
And she has
No answer
What should she tell him?
That his coming to life
Was an accident
Which his father
So despised
And hated her
For carrying him?

Oh boy!
She loved him much
And could have done
Anything for him
And he was right
Nor he
Or she
Was ready, for the big change

How much
She suffered!
Without a family
Without her love.
And that tumor!
She could have died!

He had the freedom
So he left
She did not have
So she is struck
For life
In that brief moment of
Love long lost!

…. Sahar Raman Deep
10/27/16

Lost in the Wide

When Self is lost, everything is lost.

I am
Looking for a creature
Long lost
Who I used to call ‘me’.

No clue of
Where she’s gone
No clue
What corner of universe
She is in
She used to say
The whole world is mine,
Earth is my home
And heart is shrine.

Whose heart now
Should I peep into
Which particle on earth
I dig deep
No where is she
No where is she

Such people
Who do not
Have a self
Get lost easily
In the wide

They are
Laughed upon
Because they are different
They are thought, To be like
The crow who wore
A peacock feather
And not the peacocks
Nor the crows
Accepted him henceforth.

But she was different
She was not the one
To be lost in the mob
Nor was she a crow
Or a peacock
She was the essence
Of Love
And Love was she
Indeed!

Was that me?
Now I wonder
Lost in the
Hustle of life
Wandering in
Many separated streets
The idea of unity
Is an alien.
And Love?
There is none.
Union is Love
Not the unity
Which now I have
With myself
And, I don’t know who…

…. Sahar Raman Deep
10/19/16

Young Mind Young Body, by Sue Ziang

‘Be aware’- this seems to be the primary message that Sue Ziang gives through her book ‘Young Mind Young Mind’. A well detailed, elaborative work, filled with examples from writer’s own life, along with a simple, freely flowing style, matched with commonsense ideas and logic based on scientific research, this book is a great read. With the kind of ideas presented, for example, mind is a reflection of body, body looks like what mind thinks, mindful living is the key to great, healthy and happy life, this book can become your best companion, which should be read again and again, in order to live a graceful, magnificent life.

Union in Love

Spiritual union of Love is an experience of a lifetime!

O Love!

I don’t want to

Cling to You…

I just want to

Hold the experience

Of oneness and expansion

Close to my heart

Ever and forever.

…. Sahar Raman Deep

 

Empty Vessel

Love, when pure and soulful, is fearless.

The empty vessel
Of my love
Rattles in
The monuments

None aware
Of my pathos
Hangs out
And has fun

A yogi when
Loves the world
Gifts his heart
And soul together

If you and I
Could love like this
No fear’ll be
Left in any den

… Sahar RD
10/20/16

A Small Example of Living with Bipolar

In bipolar, mood swings are so drastic that you yourself forget who you really are!

What am I looking for, always searching? There is this discontentment inside. Could it be that I am looking for my lost life? Or my Love? Or the baby I once had?

I think it is the baby.

Long ago, I searched for my love like this. I felt alone without him. I was alone. I had no relationship. There were people who were related to me, but no ties attached. And, I am alone now.

Is it just a state of mind? Or just a habit? That once we are sad, we are sad forever? But, I was not always sad. I was the queen of universe, and everyone was a part of me. I was so expanded that the horizons looked small. My soul was so bright with happiness, that sun seemed to be dim. And had such depth in my eyes that the oceans could not measure it. At that time, I had only one relationship- that with myself. I was alone, but I was happy. Deep within I longed for that ‘perfect’ man, but I was always with me. And none other’s company mattered.

And now, there are times when I am on the seventh heaven, just for nothing, no strings attached to the earth! No grounding, just hollowness. And I am flying, like a dry leaf broken from branch. And I look for myself in that hollowness, and for all those who I think are me. And, when I cannot find anyone, I get anxious. I start looking for them impatiently… and this is the time when dopamine in brain is supposedly at its maximum before starting to drop down. And when it drops down, and comes to its lowest point, I am as dead as I am now! Like my dead daughter, whom I never saw!

And, this is only a small part of bipolar!

…Sahar Raman Deep
10/19/16

My Bipolar

Bipolar Disorder, or Maniac Depression is a condition where a patient’s state of mind goes from one pole of mania to the other of depression. I have it too!

Bipolar Disorder, or Maniac Depression is a condition where a patient’s state of mind goes from one pole to the other, from mania to depression. I have it too! I am talking about it for the first time.

I was diagnosed with bipolar more than a decade ago. Since then, there has been no peace. Actually, peace was already lost. I was wandering between my desire to live an independent life, and a marriage that was forced upon me. I was doing my second masters degree at that time. Soon I started my Ph.D. My then husband was only a high school graduate. It’s not that degrees matter, but wisdom, attitude and maturity do! He had none! Now you will say, everyone has an attitude, but the truth is, if it is not helping you and the rest of the world move forward, or you just want to crawl while hoping for the sky, that’s no attitude at all. At one time, you start to cut others’ wings too.

That is what happened with me. He wanted me to study more and more, and all his family too, so that at another point in time, I can earn more and more.

I wil talk about the rest later. I need to talk, and if you are ready to hear, I will.

…. Sahar Raman Deep.  (10/18/16)

Nectar of Love

Nectar of Love is, Love itself!

This sun
And the rain!
When they get together
Creation happens

These bees
And the flowers!
When they mate
Honey comes to existence

This self
And the Ultimate
Make you and me
This is the only
Nectar of Love
You am I
I am thee.

… Sahar Raman Deep (10/14/16)